Size Hurts: A Story about fitting in

A few weeks ago I was in Target looking at the latest WhoWhatWear collection, because I love that brand and everything they're doing right now. (Let’s hear it for ELLE Alums!)

I tracked down the cutest pair of cropped, ripped-hem black jeans (for $40!) and started searching the racks for my size. My size is typically a 4 or 6, on this day I could only find a 4 and an 8. So I grabbed both without hesitation and headed for the dressing room.

The size 4 didn’t fit, the 8 fit perfectly, like butta. Everything about these jeans was perfect, the fabric, the fit, the crop height. The only thing wrong was the size.

I started into a tailspin inside the Target dressing room.

“Did I gain weight?”

“I can’t believe I’m a size 8”

“I can’t buy a size 8, I’ve never been a size 8, if I buy it then I will just start getting bigger bigger and then no one will want to be my friend and, and…”

(Note, this isn’t about size shaming, whether you are a 0 or a 16, it’s about how we FEEL about what size we are, keep reading)

That tiny little number was controlling me and I didn’t even realize it. I always thought I was ok in my body, but apparently only if that body stayed within it’s size limits.

As I was standing in that red dressing room with terrible lightning I started to feel sorry for myself. It’s crazy that in one moment, a number on a pair of jeans could make me feel like I wasn’t worthy.

This got me thinking about how many other women have this same experience and how I could help them. Here are my guidelines for feeling as good when you walk out of a dressing room as when you walk in.

Grab Two Sizes of Every Piece

When you’re choosing pieces on the floor of a store, grab one size lower and/or higher than the size you think you are. Get yourself in the habit of being ok grabbing different sizes, and acknowledge that clothing is made differently

Get Real

I know there is a lot of emotion behind the “size” we are in this world (I’m not immune to the pressure).

But before you try on any clothes remind yourself that it’s just a number. How the piece fits you is way more important than the size.

When someone looks amazing in a pair of jeans or a dress it has nothing to do with the number on the tag, but how that garment fits their body. Focus on the fit. Think about it, you aren’t like “wow you look amazing in those size 26 jeans!”

Play Size Roulette

Now start trying on the clothes you have BUT don’t look at the sizes.

You’re only job is to see what fits and what feels good. Take size out of the equation, is doesn't matter that this point.

After you have tried on every piece, and only after, you can observe the sizes to make note. But only observe the sizes, don’t attach any story to it.

Separate yourself from what you think a certain size means. All you need to know is today at this store and with this brand you are this size because it is what feels good. Nothing else. It doesn't mean you’re not good enough or too fat.