Lessons Grief Taught Me: Showing Up

Life is short. 

There’s no doubt that is the number one lesson most people take away from the death of a loved one, especially when that person dies too soon. It took me a while to really own this lesson. I was too angry to really see what it could teach me. I didn’t want to be a person who knows that life is short because she’s lived it. 

But as time passes, I’ve had to accept some truths no matter how hard. I’ve realized that while I didn’t want to learn them, I have learned so very many lessons from the passing of my sweet baby girl, Elizabeth. With this unique perspective, I feel the need to share some of this wisdom. “Life is short,” is the overarching lesson, but I wanted to break it down into a few more tangible lessons. The first lesson I’m going to talk about is “Showing Up”.

When I started to dig deeper in my grief journey, I learned so many things about myself and how I function in the world when I'm uncomfortable or sad. One of my main modes of operation is to withdraw. When I am scared, depressed, or fearful, I run. I like to hide. I retreat back to myself and find comfort in the things I am sure of. This means I avoid other people and do not allow myself to be seen as a way to protect myself from the world. Even when I know that I can't protect myself from the world, I try to and my reptilian brain thinks this is a good idea.

Withdrawing and hiding have served me in many ways, but at this point in my life, the goals I have for myself require me to be seen. I have to put myself out there and that means showing up in the world. Wow. It’s still so scary to even say, but stepping into my power as a woman, writer, and mom means I have to actually step out of my box. Hiding isn't an option anymore. Life is short, as they say. Finding out why I’m here on this planet requires me to show up for myself.

This lesson has been a hard one for me. I would do anything to stay hidden because it feels safe. But life is too short to play it safe. This is a lesson I wish no one would have to learn firsthand. I wish everyone could just learn it from hearing my story. Unfortunately, that's not how it always works. We humans insist on learning through pain. Let this inspire you to step out of the shadows and into your life, whatever it looks like. You're here for a reason. It's time to find out why.

‘Til next week,

jodi xx