4 steps to master your style

I spend a lot of time thinking about style and how to create it. Not just for me but for you. I do believe that personal style is well…personal. It’s hard to teach, it’s like teaching someone how to feel a rhythm or compose a song. BUT I do think you can learn how to find your own. Style is so abstract, the advertising gods have made it something to be sold, but it really can’t. It’s a feeling you have, and in the simplest form I believe it’s self-worth and confidence.

Have you ever seen someone walking down the street in an outfit you would have otherwise thought was a terrible idea but they pull it off because they believe in it? Half of the equation for personal style is confidence. I know that might not be what you wanted to hear because it’s hard to come by, you can’t buy it. You might even think you’re confident and to an extent we are but I also believe we’re all very good at pretending to be confident. Insecurity is running rampant, especially in this social media age. Comparison, competition, envy, and jealousy are all very familiar feelings for me and I’m sure some of you. Staying in my lane is harder than ever but a skill I’ve gotten really good at. It helps me in all areas of my life but especially in my creative endeavors, like getting dressed.

Ok, so here is the formula I think works for honing your personal style. Some of us spend way too much time in the inspiration phase or the uber therapeutic (yet short-lived) shopping phase. Let me break it down and explain how I spend my time in each of these phases. I hope this helps you reevaluate how you spend your time on your style.

15% on Inspiration

I LOVE to be inspired, who doesn’t right?! This was a hard one for me to realize because I can spend my time being inspired all.day.long. But inspiration can also keep you stuck. At some point, you have to put the book, movie, Pinterest, or phone down. I’m very visual and I fall in love with a beautiful picture, movie scene, or character. All these things can contribute to who I am and therefore my style, but they can also muddy the waters. Especially if we are talking about social media, a place that doesn’t always have your best interest at hand. The ultimate goal for most Instagram accounts is to sell you something at some point. Which isn’t wrong, but you just have to be aware.

Tips I suggest:

Edit, edit, edit who you’re following. I don’t follow more than 1-3 shopping accounts at a time. You know the ones, where it seems the influencer spends her entire life shopping and you can't understand how anyone has that much time or money.
Limit your time on apps. This is beneficial for almost every area of life, but you have to live life outside of social media to figure out who and what your style is.

15% for Shopping

This might surprise some people, but I wouldn’t suggest shopping as a major part of the personal style equation. It is definitely a necessary piece, but we misuse it terribly. Shopping always seems to be the answer right? But spending too much time here can make cultivating a personal style even harder. Too many choices lead to overwhelm. I love to shop but you need to shop smarter. This is my best tip:

Any time you see something you want, write it down. I do this on my phone.
Reference this list anytime you feel you “need/want” something.
No impulse buying. If I really love something, that feeling doesn't go away easily, so if I find myself wanting this same piece for over a couple of weeks, I get it.
Then I keep a list on my phone of the things I bought. I revert back to this list when I feel the nagging feeling of just wanting to shop. Most times when I look back at this list, I'm shocked at how much I have or what I've recently bought and the feeling of abundance is overwhelming.

20% for Styling

Like any good skill, you have to practice. I know most people don't have the time to spend hours styling their wardrobes, but taking 30 minutes here and there to just put pieces together and play around is a huge help. You can do this too in the morning when actually getting dressed, but I find this time is usually too stressful and creativity gets stifled.

50% for Confidence

As I said in the beginning, the majority of personal style is this: confidence. I’m not saying that all people with great style are super confident. Everyone is insecure in some areas, but I’m sure most people with amazing style feel really good about their clothing choices and don't care what other people think.

There are so many ways to build self-confidence. Some very simple tools I use for this are meditation and journaling. It’s impossible to know why you feel a certain way if you don't ever stop to listen to your own thoughts. Get to know yourself. I wrote a blog with my best advice for Style Confidence HERE. Read it!

I would love to know what you think. What piece of advice did you take away, and how can you incorporate it into your style this week?

Love,

jodi xx